Social Network

Social Networking Drama

On a previous post, “Facebook: Destroyer of Families?” I spoke about the impact that Facebook can have on others. Recently it was brought to my attention that drama and trouble does not always come from Facebook, but it can come in the form of other social networking sites.

A friend of mine recently came to me in a bit of a rage because of something that had happened on the social networking site, Twitter. Apparently a girl had posted an unnecessary comment that pertained to my friend. It was a snide and rude comment that did not need to be made–especially not on a social networking site.

This single post caused drama that, I swear, lasted throughout most of the night. Not only between the initial poster and my friend, but suddenly their friends started to get involved. Twitter was ablaze with posts going back and forth about how one person should keep their mouth shut, how another needed to mind their own business and so on.

It’s been stated before that social media can be a blessing, but it can also be the cause of a lot of unnecessary drama. What I find most interesting about social networking drama is that is spreads like wildfire. As I said about my friend’s situation, it started out between two people and then suddenly it was as if their entire friendship base was involved. People who didn’t know what the situation was even about started to chime in. People who had nothing to do with what was going on felt the need to make a statement.

It only makes matters worse when these other people join in on the situation at hand. They fuel the fire when it should be squashed. Comments like, “You know she’s jealous” or “Are you going to let her say that about you” only help things to go farther downhill. Things go from bad to worse in a matter of minutes and to imagine it all started with one Twitter comment amazes me.

When you go home, you think that you’re away from the drama that goes on at school or at work. When you leave high school, you never think that you’ll have to deal with “high school” drama again. With the help of social networking sites, you can now continue the drama that happened during your school or work day when you get home. Wonderful, isn’t it? So much for relaxing, I guess.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m a huge fan of the internet and social networking, but sometimes it’s best to just mind your own business and to keep your words to yourself, instead of out there for the world to see.

Let’s Ramble:

How has the internet and social networking affected you and your life? Share your stories.

By Zigomitros Athanasios – Thor4bp (Own work) [CC-BY-SA-3.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0)], via Wikimedia Commons
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Felicia is currently in pursuit of a Master’s degree in the field of Couples, Marital and Family Therapy. In her spare time she enjoys spending time with family, singing, watching television and movies, and writing. In addition, she is profoundly interested in the many aspects of family and relationships and for this reason Familial Ramblings was created.

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8 thoughts on “Social Networking Drama

  1. First let me tell you… I’ve been out of the Junior High/ High school life for longer then most who read this blog are old. I will say, Social Media is the link back to that life AND those who still haven’t grown up. It is a “virtual world” it doesn’t exist. People who are on it are living in a world that is online, it floors me. They’re SO SENSITIVE to any and everything posted. Plus… it gives those who still live in high school the opportunity to remain in high school. Then they catch up with their ex’s and relive their fantasies that were built up during those high school years, their dreams and aspirations of a life together. It is a shame; ex’s from high school still having the original thought of those they dated back then, being the same person now. And in reality they aren’t. At my age both have families, kids, careers and totally different goals now then back in high school.

    Nancy Kalish study before World Wide Web and after.

    I read Nancy Kalish’s study that spoke of NOT accepting an old flames friend request, if you are either married or in a relationship with someone. The success rate of doing so is less then 5% of marrying them when one or both of you are married when you reconnect on a Social Media site. Yes the excitement of reconnection maybe heightened since what you have built up in your head from back in the day and all those feelings that rush back in once you reconnect. But once reality sets in and you find out that… hmmm? this is the reason we broke up in the first place!… you will have destroyed your family /or relationship over a mental image that didn’t exists. And for that 5% good for you! But to you 95% once question for you… Was it really worth it?

    Good luck to all on any and all Social Media sites, I have personally removed myself from those online sites and my life is so much happier

    • Hi Irv,

      Thank you for writing in! I honestly don’t think that Social Media has to be a link back to Junior High/High School life. Most of the people that I personally connect with I have met in college and have met through blogging or they’re family members. There are a couple of people that I am connected with from high school, but that’s a small number of people. Just because someone is connected through Social Media, does not mean that someone hasn’t “grown up.” Simply because what happens online is virtual, doesn’t make it any less “real” thank if two people are interacting in “real” life. The virtual world that exists online and the real world are connected whether people like to think that way or not. So if someone says something that’s hurtful to someone online, it’s still going to have real life consequences. Please see my blog post on cyberbullying. It doesn’t have to be someone who gets “caught up” with their ex that gets hurt, for example, a family member could say something online without realizing that it may hurt another family member. I wouldn’t call that being too sensitive just because it happened online. If it were to happen in the “real” world, the same person is still likely to get hurt by it.

      I agree that you should not accept friend requests or what have you from old flames; however, like I stated previously, it’s not just old flames that cause pain. It honestly feels as though you are kind of stuck with this notion that the only people who get hurt online are those who are friends with their ex’s, which is not accurate. There are far more many circumstances than that and they are not all linked back to Junior High/High School years. Personally, I think that if you found yourself more wrapped up in what’s going on online than what’s going on in your “real” life, that, yes, you need to remove yourself from the computer and live your life in some other way; however, if you can use Social Media without allowing it to change your life, then I think it’s fine to use. Obviously people are able to go online and use Social Media without it causing problems in their lives, there are plenty of people out there that prove that.

      Perhaps it’s good that you removed yourself from Social Media sites if they were down causing problems in your personal life. You have to do what’s right for you in order to make your life a happy and enjoyable one.
      Felicia would luv for you to read..Five Quirky Holidays You Should Celebrate this YearMy Profile

  2. A number of times I also faced the same situation like what your friend was faced. My idea is, better to go through secure social networking website which one is providing high security on all the social network activities of user’s.Thanks for this, Felicia.

    • I don’t think that going through “secure social networking websites” would actually help with this situation. My friend was using Twitter, which to my knowledge is pretty secure. It comes back to the people who use the site in my opinion. Thank you for commenting. :)
      Felicia would luv for you to read..Help a Student by Taking a Survey!My Profile

  3. I hear you and I thank you for this post. Social media has caused some upset in my family recently. I’m not at liberty to share the story, but basically I think we need to remember that people are fragile and can be hurt easily and we must keep that at the forefront of all our social media dealings.
    This Busy Life would luv for you to read..Keeping Your Child SafeMy Profile

    • I 100% agree with you! People don’t seem to remember that social media is PUBLIC and what you say can (and most likely will) get back to the person you’re talking about. It really is harmful, which is a shame because I don’t think social media was created to cause drama, but to bring people together. I hope that the situation in your family gets better!
      Felicia would luv for you to read..A Year Past: Remembering an Amazing FriendMy Profile

  4. I have personally witnessed people acting like straight up idiots in Twitter flame wars. I’ve even had a person try to bully me into *not* using a hashtag – LOL!

    Usually with a Twitter flame war …it starts between 2 people (as you said.) It’s usually an innocent comment taken out of context because we do not have the benefit of body language in social media…or someone looking to get into a fight jumps on someone’s comment & takes it out of context… and then 1 person’s e-buddies, usually the e-buddies of the person who blew everything out of proportion, joins in.

    The more antagonistic that person is – the more e-buddies will jump in…presumably to goad the other person (who is typically not interested in the flame war) into “fighting” back.

    Next, you’ll see a blog post about it – again it’s usually from the side who knows full well that they are in the wrong. (I’ve seen this exact scenario unfold at least twice in the past 7 months!) Luckily hardly anyone reads each other’s blogs and those that do read them really have no power to do anything to anyone.

    Tip: If you find yourself in this situation – post one tweet *to your audience* to set the record straight, block the primary antagonist as well as any that are especially aggressive, and then log off Twitter immediately. They will continue to tweet about it for a little while and then they will get bored and move on to their next target. If you’re not engaged, it isn’t fun any longer.

    Social media drama does seem to reflect high school drama – especially in the mom blog niche and it is really sad.

    • It really is amazing how quickly it can get out of hand, isn’t it? It makes me remember why I avoided Twitter initially along with most other social media sites in general. Nothing but nonsensical drama that only ends up hurting people’s feelings in the end.

      That’s a great tip you listed there! I’ll have to remember that if I ever run into this sort of situation myself. I really hope it never comes to that though!
      Felicia would luv for you to read..A Year Past: Remembering an Amazing FriendMy Profile