Today I learned that my mother’s best friend and someone who was a part of our family passed way just yesterday. I must admit that I was devastated and could not even imagine what my mother was going through. This friend had a lot of health problems, but her death came as a complete shock. We had just been talking about her yesterday, about how she was such a good friend and the person I often compare my own friends to. She was the type of person who would drop absolutely everything for you without a second thought. I’ve known her for my entire life, since I was born, and it’s hard to think that she’s gone. Even typing this is making be teary-eyed, but I want to write this post for her because she was a TRUE FRIEND and I believe that everyone can learn how to be a good friend by following by her example.
#1 Being There:
A true friend will always be there for their friend as she was. If you’re a true friend you’ll drop everything you’re doing to run to the rescue of a friend in need. You could be at work, in class, at a doctor’s appoint, it does not matter, you will drop whatever you’re doing to help your friend in whatever way that you can.
As a true friend, you’ll always be willing to listen to what the other person has to say. If they’re having a bad day and just need to vent, you’ll listen for hours on end. If they have an opinion about something—even if you don’t agree with it—you’ll listen. A good friend, a true friend, listens to what you have to say just like she always did for my mom.
#3 No Judgment:
A true friend won’t pass judgment on you no matter what stupid thing you may have done, or if they do, you’ll at least never know about it. When you’re friend is down on their luck or has done something completely idiotic and they go to you for help, you’re not going to judge them for what they’ve done. People do some things that they regret and it’s your job to let them know that they aren’t alone. Even if you do think what you’re friend has done was not a good idea, you keep it to yourself and help them get through it. I never felt as if she ever judged me for any of the messes I got myself into that I know she knew about because I’m sure my mom told her, but it was okay because I knew my secrets were safe and I knew she wouldn’t judge me.
#4 Shows They Care:
It’s one thing to say that you care, but it’s completely different to actually show that you care. A good friend won’t just say, “You know I care about you,” they’ll actually show you that they care about you and vice versa. This kind of goes hand in hand with a true friend always being there for you because I think that you can show that you care by going to the extra mile for your friend. When you’re friend’s daughter is getting married and her bridesmaids leave you to do all the work at her reception (touchy subject), you’re the one who shows up 20 minutes early to help decorate and get everything put together. She did that for my mom and without her and my cousin, I’m not sure if I would have even had a bridal shower. That’s a good friend right there.
#5 Through Thick and Thin:
This can also go with being there, but I thought it was important to be put down as a tip by itself. You can be there for your friend, but a true friend, will be there through thick and thin. It doesn’t matter what’s going on, if it’s good or bad, a true friend will be there for you. They won’t leave you hanging if it’s something they don’t think that they can handle; they will still do whatever it takes to be by your side. It’s easy to be there for someone through the good times, but it’s through the bad times that you really find out who your true friends are.
Those are the qualities that I think make up a true friend and in my opinion, it’s not a lot to ask, but there are so few people out there that actually can be considered a true friend—at least in my book. So if you ever find someone that you consider to be a true friend, make sure to hold onto them because they are one in a million just like she was.
The question that I’m leaving for you, dear readers, is do you think that you are a true friend to someone? And do you think that one, or maybe more, of your friends could be considered a true friend?
R.I.P. You are loved; you will be missed, but never ever forgotten.
Posted on March 26, 2012 by Felicia