After a long, hard battle, my father passed away yesterday morning. I had gotten a text around 9:00 AM from my brother telling me that they were performing CPR on him. Approximately forty-five minutes later I got a phone call from my other brother telling me that he had passed away.
I’ve noticed that my first reaction to finding out someone close has died is always, “You’re lying.” My mother says it’s normal to react that way because you’re in such a state of shock because of the news. Unfortunately, it wasn’t a lie and my father really had passed away. I had to be the one to tell my other brother (the one who had texted me in the morning), which was no easy task to say the least.
I have to say that I’m happy that I wasn’t alone when I got the news. I was off from work and had been with my husband, which I’m grateful for. I’m not sure what I would have done if I would have been on my own. My mom came home from work when I told her what had happened and even my mother-in-law offered to drive all the way up from Mississippi to be with me if I needed her. It’s great to know you have such supportive and loving family to be surrounded by in these times. You also find out who your true friends are in these times and I’m grateful for them as well.
Either way, as you can imagine, I’m not in the best state at this current time. I’m honestly not even sure if this post makes any sense what-so-ever. The long and the short of it, though, is that my father has passed away and I’m really hurting. I’m hurting more than I ever thought I would and it just goes to show that I had a stronger bond, a stronger relationship with him than I had ever imagined.
I miss my father deeply and I wish that I would have had more time with him. I wish that we wouldn’t have gotten so distant as I grew up and wish we could have gone out for one last dinner at the Chinese buffet he loved so much. I miss him and this is not going to be easy to get through.
Before I close this, I just want to say that my father was a great man. I miss him so much and love him so much. This is going to be a long road of healing, but at least I don’t have to do it alone.
Posted on April 19, 2012 by Felicia