What Makes a Bully?

It’s been said countless times since I’ve started this bullying series that bullying is a horrible epidemic in today’s world.  I wanted to take a step back for a moment though and discuss the question which often seems to be on people’s minds:  why do bullies bully?  People often look at the victims of bullies, but it seems as if they forget the bully and people don’t seem wonder what leads to these people to act the way that they do.

It seems as if people often think bullies bully just because they’re bored and have nothing better to do with their time, but that’s not necessarily the case.  Am I saying it can’t ever be the case?  No because there are people out there that bully others just to bully others; however, in many situations there are other reasons.

What Goes Around Comes Around:

It’s quite possible that the bully is being bullied by someone.  This could be someone at school or at work, a so-called friend or even a family member.  It’s not uncommon for it to be found that a bully was or is being bullied themselves and because of this they lash out on others.  They feel inspirer, weak, unworthy and they want to get back whatever it is that they feel they’ve lost so they go after someone who is weaker than them.  So before accusing someone of bullying just for the fun of it, make sure to take a closer look at their life.

An Injury:

I cannot for the life of me remember where, but when I was still an undergraduate in college I read in a book that brain injuries can lead to violent behaviors.  This is not always the case, just because someone has a brain injury does not mean that they are going to turn into a bully, that they’ll turn into a serial killer or what have you.  But it is possible that a bully becomes a bully because they’ve experienced some sort of brain injury at some time in their life.  This may also be the case with those who have brain tumors or other problems with their brain.

Inner Torment:

As I was getting down to the end of writing this post, I found myself thinking about the television show GLEE.  If you haven’t seen it’s about a high school choir going through their high school career.

*Warning Spoiler Alert*

In one particular episode we finally find out why one of the bullies is a bully.  It turns out that the bully, Dave Karofsky (Max Adler), was bullying a fellow student, Kurt Hummel (Chris Colfer) for being gay because he himself was gay.

*End Spoiler*

So, it’s quite possible that a bullying is bullying because of their inner struggles.  They’re mad at themselves for some reason and find someone else in a similar situation that has been able to overcome it and lash out instead of asking for help.  Of all the possible reasons as to why someone bullies others, this particular reason is probably the most complex of them all.

It’s Learned:

It’s really a shame, but some parents teach their children horrible things.  In some cases, parents teach their kids to be bullies, to do what they have to do get what they want.  Sometimes they also teach their children that they have to push the little guy around to achieve their goals.  It has a lot to do with gaining power and if you have to push someone down to gain this power in their mind that’s okay.  So, it’s not always the kid’s fault that they become a bully, sometimes it’s the parents’ doing.

For the Power:

Like I said previously, bullying is often about gaining power.  If you look at people who bully and their victims, you’ll notice that the bully has an upper hand in one aspect or another.  They can be stronger than the other, smarter or just better at doing something.  It’s horrible how far we would go to gain power and to get ahead, but it happens.

Peer Pressure:

Isn’t being “cool” the goal of most children and adolescents?  They want to stand out, make a name for themselves and hang out with the popular crowd.  Unfortunately, sometimes the popular crowd is not always the best people to be hanging out with.  Bullies will often start bullying others in order to show the popular kids that they’re cool enough to hang out with them and in some situations being “cool” involves pushing others around.  The bully wants to show the popular crowd that they’re no push-over and that they will do whatever it takes to accomplish their goal.  This possible reason of goes hand-in-hand with bullying for the power—being popular often means being powerful.

For the Fun:

As I mentioned before, there are people out there who will just bully others for the fun of it.  To put it simply, these people suck.  I could never, and don’t think that I ever will, understand why people hurt others just for fun.  I don’t see how people can gain any sort of enjoyment out of causing harm and pain to others, but there are some people out there who do bully just because they want to.  These are probably the worst of the group and we can only hope that they are a dying breed.

As you can see from my list above, there are a lot of reasons as to why a bully may be a bully.  There are probably hundreds of other reasons behind bullying, but in the end no matter how you look at it, bully is wrong.

So don’t forget to take action, never ignore the Signs of Bullying and remember that Words Can Hurt.

 

What other things do you think makes a bullying into a bully?  Don’t forget to share your thoughts and opinions.

 

Photo Credit:  Chesi Fotos