An Online Match

I’ve realized that my last few posts have been, to say the least, quite saddening.  First I take two posts to discuss losing friendships and then I post about my ailing father.  So I’ve decided that I need to write a more up-beat, positive post before I go making everyone depressed.  I was originally going to write about cute puppies, kitties and other little animals because, let’s face it, who doesn’t like cute animals?  So, what stopped me?  Well, I know that recently a friend and reader lost a pet, so the last thing I want to do is stir up those types of emotions for someone else.  I’ll just save that post for a rainy day.  Instead, I’ve decided to talk about relationships, one in particular, my own with my husband.

My husband’s name is TJ, which is short for his actual name that I refuse to use because I don’t like when people call him that.  He’s originally from Mississippi and we fortunately had the opportunity to meet online.  That’s right ladies and gents, I am in a successful–or what I deem as successful–relationship with a person that I met on the interwebs.  At the time, I was a senior in high school (age eighteen) and all my friends had boyfriends and girlfriends, which left me pretty much alone.  For those of you who have gone through a stage or two of loneliness because of the hooks around you probably know how I was feeling at that point in time.  I pretty much felt like the third or fifth wheel whenever I went out with friends because I was the only one without a significant other.

Having little to no luck finding a guy in school, I turned to the internet, which was slowly becoming a dear friend in itself.  I went onto a variety of AOL Chatrooms and often looked for a potential boyfriend.  I didn’t have a problem with them not being in the same state or even country as me because if it was love, we’d find a way to make it work in my opinion.  I found some guys here and there to talk to, but many of them turned out to be perverts or just plain boring.  I had dated people online in the past, but as time went on, the ocean of fish everyone’s always talking about (you know, the “there’s plenty of fish in the sea” phrase?) was running out of fish for me.  I forged on and was soon rewarded on February 4^th, 2006.

It’ll be six years tomorrow that I began talking with a gentleman that would later become my husband.  At first, it was a bit awkward like most conversations are when you first meet someone and you’re trying to find out more about them, but then he said one word that triggered it all: “mook.”  This simple word sent me back to my childhood days of watching my favorite movie The Lion King.  It was because of this word, this movie and the spin-off television series (Timon and Pumbaa) that we were able to hold a conversation for thirteen hours straight.  I’m sure you’re sitting there thinking, “Felicia, you’re crazy, there’s no way it could have been thirteen hours.”  Well, reader, I assure that it was thirteen hours because I have the original conversation with time stamps to prove it!

From that day forth our friendship and love blossomed, but there was one problem, he lived in a completely different state than I did.  We were perfect together though!  How could it be that I had met a guy who I’d been looking for all of my life and he lived thousands of miles away?  It simply was not fair.  But fear not!  We devised a plan.  We would meet for my senior prom!  We planned very far in advance and were able to get the money together so that he could come visit me in time to also be my prom date.  He came by bus considering he had (and still has) a phobia of flying, so it took a good amount of time for him to reach me when the time had come, but he made it safe and sound.

How did I react when I first saw him?  I hid behind a brick pillar at the bus station–epic fail on my part, if I do say so myself.  After getting over my shyness, for the most part at least, I was able to come out from behind the pillar and as we walked back to my house (the bus station is down the street, so no, we didn’t walk for miles or anything like that) and on the way we shared our first kiss.  Despite popular belief, I didn’t see fireworks or anything like that, but my heart did flutter with excitement.  We went out on our first date that night to a restaurant called Carrabba’s (delicious food, I might add) and spent the days few days and nights with one another.  He met my mom, brother and friends while he was here on his visit and we went to prom with one another where he would later ask me to marry him.  My answer was an enthusiastic “yes,” but my happiness turned to sorrow knowing he would soon be leaving me to return home.

The day he left my heart shattered knowing I didn’t know when I would be with him again.  At the airport (yes, we got him onto a plane for the ride back) we said our tearful good-byes and promised to talk as soon as he got home.  I soon learned that our parting was not only difficult on me, but also on him and it didn’t help either of us that Chris Daughtry’s song Home kept playing on the radio.  Once TJ had arrived back home, it was decided that he would return to Pennsylvania for my high school graduation.  When he left me a second time after visiting, it was simply unbearable for the both of us.  It was at this time that it was decided that I would take my turn in visiting him for a week during the summer vacation and that he would return home with me after the visit.

My trip down to see him was nerve wrecking because I didn’t know what his family would think of me.  Apparently they adore me because they gave their blessing for us to be married.  I love his family.  Honestly, they’re fantastic; though, sometimes a bit on the crazy side, but who’s family isn’t?  They made me feel welcomed and loved right off and it was great.  We had a great time and once our visit was through, we flew back to PA where we still live today.  It would be another four years before we got married and I tell you that things are not always easy, but we love each other and work through things together.

On May 21^st, 2010 TJ and I were married and it was a wonderful ceremony and reception.  Our theme was, you got it, The Lion King,

the movie that started our relationship.  We had a fantastic time and where better to go on our honeymoon than Orlando, Florida?  He had never been to Disney World and I loved Disney World, so why not?  We went to all the parks and I got to swim with the dolphins for the first time ever.  It was a great time.  Since then, we’ve had our ups and downs like most relationships, but we still love each other very much and will always be there for each other.  As I write this blog post, I lay my head on his shoulder happily as he does one thing or another, I honestly don’t know what he’s doing.  Let me ask…he’s reading some online article, looks to be about KISS or something.  In the end I’m happy and I hope he’s happy too.

You’ve read my happy, sappy story now, so what’s in it for you?  Felicia’s very own online dating tips of course!  Here we go:

#1 Don’t be Embarrassed – First and foremost, don’t be embarrassed if you’ve decided to date someone online.  There’s really nothing to be embarrassed about, you just haven’t had luck finding someone by meeting them face-to-face or, if you’re like me, you have an easier time making friends via the internet and typing is your preferred way to talk to people.

#2 Get to Know the Person – Unless you’re a pervert, you’re going to want to get to know who you’re talking to.  Don’t just meet the person online and then decide you want to meet them in person right away.  Actually talk to the person for a few months, get to know them first.

#3 Talk on the Phone – If you’re like me, you probably don’t like to use the phone all that much, but in my opinion, it’s good to actually talk to the person before making an agreement to meet.  Also, you have to remember that sometimes things aren’t portrayed as well when you’re on the internet, so you’ll get a better sense of what the person is feeling through his or her voice.  By doing this, you’ll also get to know a bit more about their personality.

#4 Video Chat – You can send pictures back and forth to one another, but who knows if it’s the actual person’s picture you’re looking at?  It could be some old horny pervert on the other side or someone who’s currently in jail for a heinous crime on the other side and you’d never know.   Do an actual video chat!  This way you can see what the person actually looks like and where they are (do jails have computers with cameras I wonder).  If they don’t want to chat with you on video their either extremely shy or something’s up.  I would not suggest meeting anyone before talking with them on a video chat.

#5 Meet in a Public Place – So, you’ve decided to meet up!  Congratulations!  Have you done all the above?  I hope so!  Now, before you decide to meet, really think about where this is going to happen.  You don’t want to be in a secluded area where no one can hear you scream.  Meet in a public place like a bus station, a mall, an airport, something with a crowd so if you need help there will be plenty of people around for that.  Ideally, you want to meet somewhere that has some sort of security as well.  I met TJ at a bus stop, which coincidently was right next to the police station, so I was in good shape.  This is the MOST IMPORTANT tip I have for you all.  You don’t want something bad happening when you meet this person.

So, those are my main tips for all of you out there.  Be careful and be safe when dating someone online!  I hope if you do find someone online that you’ll be as happy as I am with my husband.  Good luck to you and remember, MEET IN A PUBLIC PLACE!

To my husband:

I love you and I am so happy that we were able to find one another six years ago.  You’ve brought me so much joy and you have been able to change me for the better.  I love you!  Happy Anniversary (a day early)!

 

Photo Credit:  Logo Design Love, IMDB,  Latcarf, & Daily Clipart