Abuse in the Family
Before I discuss my vacation, there’s another topic I just have to touch on. There have been a few comments that I have received since opening my blog that I have, shamefully, ignored parts of what was being said because it made me highly uncomfortable. I was going to continue going on my merry little way putting them in the back of my brain, but I just cannot do it. It may be partially because it continuously keeps being brought up or because my morals and beliefs are kicking in big time. The comments that I am referring to that caught my eye pertain to “abuse” and “beatings” within the family, which sometimes seems to be seen as “okay” at least to some extent within this person’s family. Well, I have to say that any sort of harsh beatings or abuse in or out of the family is NOT OKAY.
You’ve probably read my blog posts on bullying, such as “6 Signs Someone May be Being Bullied” and “Sticks & Stones” and though I mentioned that bullies come in all shapes and sizes, that they can be strangers or ever someone you know; I never really dove deep into family abusers. Many people don’t understand that family members are just as likely to bully other family members as someone you may or may not know. It seems that it’s harder to accept that a family member is bullying or abusing you because they’re a family member and that’s not supposed to happen. It can sometimes also be harder to convince other family members that you’re being abused by another family member because they don’t want to accept it—especially if it’s a parent doing the abusing.
This is something that I cannot stress enough: If you feel as if you are being abused by a family member REPORT IT. The abuse is not going to stop if you let it continue to happen without saying something. If you’ve tried to tell a friend or another family member about the abuse and they didn’t believe you, then go straight to the authorities. You have to do something even if others don’t believe you because you are NOT in a healthy relationship. Don’t allow it to continue to happen, DO SOMETHING TO STOP IT.
Below you will find some great resources to help you if you feel as though you are being abused and you need help.
If you are experiencing an emergency, call 911 IMMEDIATELY or your LOCAL POLICE!
Domestic Violence:
National Domestic Violence Hotline
Toll free, confidential, 24 hrs. Translators available.
1-800-799-SAFE (7233) or
1-800-787-3244 (TTY)
Child Abuse:
Childhelp USA National Child Abuse Hotline
This hotline is for advice, information and to clarify options. It is not the same as reporting the abuse. You don’t need to give your name or name of the abuser to talk.
Toll free, confidential, 24 hrs.
1-800-4- A-CHILD (1-800-422-4453)
National Center for Missing and Exploited Children
1-800-THE-LOST (1-800-843-5678)
Outside USA Resources:
American Domestic Violence Crisis Line
For American women and children living abroad.
International toll free domestic violence crisis line
10:00pm to 6:00am, Pacific Standard Time, M-F
9:00-am – 1:00pm T, Th.
Email them anytime at crisis@866uswomen.org
1- 866-USWOMEN (if calling from overseas, contact local ATT operator to be connected)
International Directory of Resources
International inventory of hotlines, shelters, refuges, crisis centers and women’s organizations, searchable by country, plus index of domestic violence resources in over 70 languages.
Photo Credit: Katherine Evans
Posted on July 18, 2012 by Felicia
“REPORT IT” great slogan, but not always that simple if you’re a kid. So you report it, so what next? Worst case scenario, you get taken to foster homes. Not the fairy tale ending people expect. Tell family? If you’re lucky enough to have family that love you and have courage to do something about it great. If not, you’re kind of screwed. The real solution is parents if you don’t intend on loving you’re kids – don’t have any.
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This is a very difficult subject to talk about. Thanks for posting about it in such an honest way.
Thank you for stopping by! It’s certainly a difficult subject to talk about, but it has to be done.
Abuse – whether by someone you know or a stranger – should always be taken seriously. You may think it will get better (many abused wives think this of their husbands for example), but it won’t. I agree with the article – REPORT ABUSE. Don’t just take it or if it’s happening to someone else, don’t let it happen either. If a family member or “loved one” is abusing you, they don’t love you. Love wouldn’t let a person hurt you, not true love at least.
You’ve absolutely hit the nail with it, Geoffrey. My mum always tolerates this kinda behavior or acts or actions from Him, the he being her husband or my dad, hence why or so thats why I hate him or don’t get along with him that much so yeah. & She’s never stood up for herself to protect herself from his violence so yeah. Shes forbade me to do so too or to report him or get a restraining order from the police, but I won’t take it nor can’t I take it anymore because of all the violence & abuse I’m suffering from him so yeah. So you’re right to say that this shouldn’t be tolerated in any family.
It always troubles me at how some people don’t take abuse seriously and think it’s a joke or isn’t as bad as it’s made out to be. If more people did take it seriously and actually reported it, maybe it wouldn’t be as bad as it seems to be. Who knows how many cases of abuse we don’t know about, which is just unfortunate.
Yep indeed, like I know many people are in the same boat or situation as me… so yeah, poor them, I take pity on them or commiserate with their pain, since I suffer from the same so yeah… & I feel uneasy taking it all in the open because of all the restrictions shes set on me, & etc…. so hence why I chat about it on blogs, & fora… because it pains me & hurts me inside so yeah.
You should really consider getting help with your situation.
I will thanks, its a good tip for me to get out of this situation so yeah. I might wanna talk to a counselor or psy for this.
I think that would be a good idea, talking to a counselor or psychologist. They’ll be able to help you take the necessary steps to get out of the situation.
So yeah, I feel so sorry for myself to be in these shoes or living under his roof. I hate it or loath it despise it…. I hate being abused & hit & banged on the wall. & really it gets scary & creepy in my household… because or since he gets angry or furious every now & then plus he smacks me on the head as well. & he knocks over tables violently & punches through the windows. So yeah, it gets scary & I really get afraid & scared of him every now & then so yeah.
Naiwen, you seriously NEED TO REPORT THIS. There are no ifs, ands or buts about it, you NEED TO REPORT THIS ABUSE. Use one of the resources I used above, GET HELP. DO NOT WAIT!
Popped in from SITS! Family abuse is a huge problem down here in SA….esp teen pregnancy and domestic abuse.
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Thanks for stopping by! I think abuse is an ever-growing problem everywhere that really needs to be stopped. Unfortunately, I don’t see that happening in the near future.
As pointed out it is good for you to pick such a subject to talk about. I had to deal with abuse in the family too from my father and step father. However the whole family turned it around and made it out to look like it was my fault. I ended up having to go to a group and I learnt a lot of how to deal with it. Everything ended up okay though.
Thank you for sharing that with us, Roach. I’m glad to hear that things turned out okay for you and that you were able to get the help that you needed. It’s terrible when a family turns on you, but at least you were able to get help unlike so many others out there.
This is indeed a ‘touchy’ topic and should still be brought up. Such abuse can really destroy someone’s life and should not be accepted. Bullying IS NOT OK, no matter what. Thank you for bringing it up and for all the resources listed there. They are USEFUL
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Thank you for the comment, Dojo. It’s so horrible how much bullying in and outside of the family goes on and so much of it we don’t know about because people keep it a secret for one reason or another. People need to realize that, like you said, bullying is not okay and that something can and should be done about it.
I found you from a comment you left on my blog. This is definitely good information. Thanks for speaking opening about a touchy subject.
On a more cheerful note: I LOVE your blog header! The tree image is great
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Hehe, thanks for the compliment, Stephanie! I’m glad that found this post to contain some good information.
It’s a touchy subject, but someone has to talk about it, that’s for sure.
Great post! I wrote a post about adult bullying just a few days ago so I’m really glad to see another post addressing bullying and abuse. The more attention to this–issue, the better. Sadly, abuse in the family is often kept secret and determined to be “a family matter.” This keeps the cycle going.
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It’s certainly something that needs to constantly be brought up in my opinion because people don’t realize how prominent of a problem it really is. I’ll have to stop on over to your blog and check out that post. And yes, it’s very unfortunate that abuse in the family is general kept private. There’s probably a lot more of it going on than anyone knows because, as you said, it’s usually kept as a “family matter.”
Thankd for this useful info, they might come in handy for me as I’m living this kinda situation right now & presently!
I hope that this information is useful to you.
I hope or wish fervently to get out of the situation too… its a losing one for me & my mum. So yeah.
Stopping by from SITS, and I am so glad I did. Thank you for sharing this information.
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Thanks for stopping by! I’m glad that you like the blog and the information.